Adam was the most popular boy in high school. He was the one all the ladies wanted, and all the boys were jealous of. Adam was the definition of perfection. He was intelligent, athletic, and charming. The one boy who hated him the most was Sam. Sam wanted everything that Adam had from the girls falling all over him to Adam’s spot as the quarterback of the football team. It did not help that Adam was also the debate team champion. Sam tried to do everything that Adam did, but never quite measured up. Sam was the third-string quarterback, alternate for every club he was in, and could not get a female to look his way.
One day, Sam decided to plot his revenge for always being in Adam’s shadow. Adam was dating Sylvia at the time. Sam had a class with her and asked her to be his partner in chemistry lab. Sam did not think that Sylvia liked Adam that much, so he saw it as a door into Adam’s vulnerability. She was his kryptonite and Sam wanted to make Adam feel weak like he has all these years. When Sam and Sylvia met up to study, Sam recorded the whole thing. Sam convinced Sylvia to trust him with his sly ways. Sylvia told Sam that she never liked Adam because she always felt inferior instead of an equal. This was exactly what Sam needed to bring down his one true enemy.
Sam brought what he had recorded in school the next day and found a way to get into the main office. He broadcasted Sylvia’s true feelings to the entire school. Adam was crushed. Sylvia felt relieved by the act. But in high school, there are always consequences to the actions of the students. Sam was expelled from school and was forced to transfer to a rival high school, which happened to be perfect for him. Sam had become the leader of the rival team and he was able to battle Adam not only in high school, but it continued into college as well.
Adam ended up with Evelyn and found out why nothing ever worked out with anyone else. He learned many lessons in his past and wanted to be more aware of his surroundings. Evelyn had Adam wrapped around her finger before he could even realize it. She could persuade him into doing anything she wanted. Evelyn had only begun to suck him into forbidden activities that would eventually lead to jail time later on, but we will save that for another time. There is not enough time in the world to explain how much two people could affect the world around them in such a large way.
 |
| The Popular Crowd |
Adam & Eve from the book of Genesis. link here
In the original story, all the angels were jealous of Adam and wanted him gone. Satan was the most jealous of them all. He challenged Adam to a game of wit. Their relationship and turmoil ended up getting Satan kicked out of Heaven. Adam had a woman that was not in love with him because she did not feel as if she were his equal. She made a deal with God so she could leave him. Adam eventually found Eve, who could persuade him into doing many things. I think this story is public knowledge. I changed the story into a modern-day high school rivalry. I made Sam, Satan, jealous of Adam. He got revenge on Adam by using Sylvia, Lilith, to get back at him for always being the perfect one. Sam was expelled and transferred to a rival school, which compares to Heaven and Hell. Evelyn, Eve, was a woman who Adam cared about enough to do whatever she wanted. Evelyn continued to get Adam in trouble for years to come. I believe that I had enough similarities to justify my retelling of the story, but it was unique enough to be its own entity.
This is so clever! As I was reading I was trying to figure out your inspiration for the story and after reading the authors note it totally makes sense. Nice work! I like how you included the picture of the "popular crowd", it was a nice touch. Throughout the story I kept having to reference back to differentiate between who was Adam and who was Sam (that could've just been my short term memory) so maybe adding a few really distinctive qualities (like their physical appearance, hair color, etc) would really help set the two apart in the readers mind and further develop their personalities. I really enjoyed this and am looking forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteTabi,
ReplyDeleteI love the retelling of Adam and Eve in the high school setting! It has so many exciting possibilities. This concept could easily be a whole series of stories, exploring Eden-esque classrooms, the dominion of the popular crowd over Eden's other inhabitants, Satan's bitterness, and Eve's betrayal of Adam. I hope this is something you'll consider for your class project, because I would definitely enjoy reading it!
Tabi, I love this version of the original story of Adam and Eve. The high school setting is something that is very interesting because there are so many different groups and cliques in high school. I like how you incorporated the different aspect of crowds and people into this story. Also I think it would be helpful to add some characteristics to the characters so that it is easier to follow the plot of the story. Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Tabi! I like your premise and how you changed the story around. I think the whole "Adam and Eve in high school" plot line really worked. You were able to outline the plot and characters motivations well. However, there was not dialogue in the story, and I think that you could have used that action in the work. I wonder if plot points could have been shown through dialogue and action rather than exposition. The premise if just so clever though! It really works well and is so creative. Maybe you should flesh out the character a little more to give them more depth. More descriptors, character traits that differentiate them, etc. The story was mostly decryption so action or something to break that up would have been welcome, but this is a great start and usually a good premise is the hardest part of me. Kudos for the great idea!
ReplyDelete